Coach Donna

Divorce is Not a Death Sentence

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Do you know that being divorced is not a death sentence? If you didn’t before, you do now.

White Flowers

There is hope.

Divorce is of course not the ideal answer to marital problems but let’s face it, divorce happens. It’s not my job to sit here and judge you for your decision. Marriage should be between the couple making the decisions, not everyone else around them.

Deciding to divorce my husband was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I truly thought that divorce was a death sentence. It took me ten years to get to the point where it was my life or his. I just couldn’t take the abuse any longer. I grabbed my kids and we left with what would fit in my SUV.

When two people decide to split, there is pain, sadness, loss, and even anger. That should be dealt with before ever jumping into another relationship. Do you really want to take all that pain and sadness with you if you find someone amazing? Give yourself time to heal.

Divorce is not a death sentence, but it is something to be grieved when it is lost.

Please take the time to go through the grieving process in some manner. It could require professional counseling, weekly coffee with a trusted friend, journaling, or a working through a workbook. It could be a combination of them all. Nevertheless, don’t neglect this step.


Everyone must walk the journey alone.

When I say walk alone, what I mean is that no one can walk it for you. Someone can walk it with you, but it is yours face head on.

I know this sounds sad, but it is really the only way to recover from the destruction that divorce makes. And when I say destruction, I really do mean it. Divorce is a violent act of separating two lives. Even if the divorce is wanted, amicable and healthy, it is destructive. The two that once became one are now becoming two again. This is especially difficult when children are involved.

There is no doubt that many divorces leave both parties wounded but there is hope.

Once the divorce is final, the rules are set, and assets divided – a new future can begin. A new future should start with healing and end with happiness. It is never a good idea to take all of that negative emotion with you. Do what it takes to heal and recover and then move on.

Move On

Moving on may feel selfish but it is really the best thing for you, your family, and those around you. Nobody wants you to be unhappy or punished for the rest of your life because your marriage didn’t work out. If they do, you don’t need them in your life. It’s okay. Take a deep breath and get ready to live a happy and fulfilled life whether that is on your own or with a new life partner.

Train by Trees Against Blue Sky

Are you ready to move on? If so, you can join my private FB group. This is where we, as women, will share our stories, embrace singleness, and remain positive. There is no baggage allowed in this group. Climb aboard the train that is running into a future filled with happiness, blessings, and love.

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